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Rant.—The most random one ever—

Losing weight is something I want reallly really bad…
And you think this thing that I want oh so bad, would be easy to acheive….

BUT ITS NOT. it’s seriously the hardest thing ever.

I’ll gain 10lbs by eating fruit. i swear. its not fair. why can’t i just eat whatever the hell i want and be skinny. game over.

nope. instead i diet and exercise. and crash diet some more. from stupid cookie diets to pills to weight watchers…I always lose 10-15 pounds and then its all over. AND sure 10-15 pounds is good…but i need to lose like 30 more on top of that….

I need a partner in crime. someone to eat the same way i do. someone to push me a little more at the gym..a little bit of a support system.
I seem to be missing that these days. A whole lot of it. and NO not just at the gym. 

In life.in.general.

I honestly feel the only person you can count on is yourself.At least that’s how I feel these days. Im super lonely…Super afraid of being lonely forever…

But in my crazy mixed up mind I feel like if I were super hot..then I wouldn’t be lonely. isnt that fucked up. Thank you media for fucking up our generations view on beauty.

with.that.being.said…….

I’m expecting you guys [[if anyone IS reading this..]] to hold me to this. I will lose ALL the weight I want to. and it will make me really happy. Right?!?! Okay good! 

Ready….set..GO!